Not Enjoying Your Endurance Running? Quit!

Are you not enjoying your endurance running? Then quit!

Really.

I don’t want to see you or be near you out on the road or trail, no matter whether you are training or you are racing.

Simply quit.

Why? I can think of many reasons.

1. You are hurting our training.

Every time that you gripe about something or display a persistently anguished face to the rest of us while we are training with you, you take our minds off the pure joy of running, off thoughts of gratitude for everything that serves our running, and off of much more that leads to happiness.

2. You are hurting your own training, too.

The Law of Attraction is relentless. You attract what you think about. (My apologies to grammarians for ending that one on a preposition, but the rewritten version is ugly.) You don’t know what the Law of Attraction is? Look it up.

3. You give endurance running a bad name.

Every endurance runner is an ambassador for the sport. If you do not enjoy your endurance running, then you are repelling many wonderful people from a sport that would serve them well. Well, Mr. or Ms. Ambassador, “You’re fired!”

4. You get more out of your griping than we do.

As Dr. Phil would ask, “How’s that working for you?” Obviously, if your griping does not stop, then you are getting something out of it other than resolution of the problems about which you are griping. I am not sure what we are getting out of your unhappiness with your endurance running, but I can assure you that it typically is not much.

5. You put yourself in danger when training.

You are so busy complaining during a training run that you often do not notice impending dangers — from approaching vehicles, motorcycles, and bicycles to tripping hazards and overhanging branches.

6. You put the rest of us in danger when training.

The rest of us endurance runners are so busy trying to tune you out during a training run that we often do not notice impending dangers, either.

7. You take the fun out of your own races.

You are so busy being miserable that you nitpick — aloud, in your mind, or both — every little thing that you consider to be wrong with a race. Please! Races will never be perfect. Get over it, or get off the course!

8. You take some joy out of our races.

So, the rest of us endurance runners are enjoying the beginning of a long race, and then WHAM! There you are, nitpicking away about the race, and we start to wonder why we registered. Then we get away from you, come to our senses, and get back into the joy of the race. Later, when we are struggling to hold on to our positive attitudes, let alone our physical strength and endurance, WHAM! There you are again, still nitpicking away. “Help!,” we think. “Get me away from this person!”

9. Your musical self-medication drives us away.

“I’m happy as long as I can listen to music while I’m running,” you might protest. If the music is what gives you the happiness, then you can eliminate the endurance running. Just stay home, and listen to the music. Really. It is too hard for the rest of us runners to have a conversation with you when you have two earphones in your ears and the music cranked up. “But I have the music turned down low,” you might then protest. Wait a minute. Do you always have to have music playing in the background? Where were you reared — in an elevator, or a doctor’s waiting room, with non-stop Muzak? Besides, we cannot tell that you have your music on a low volume. We just think you’re a loner. Which you are.

So…

• If you are an endurance runner who knows someone like this, then what would you list as the tenth reason to tell this person to quit?
• If you are this person and you want to change, then what is stopping you from becoming a happy endurance runner?

Thank you. I look forward to your comments.