Regrets vs. Happiness for Endurance Runners and Walkers

Regrets and happiness do not go together, including for endurance runners and walkers.

The word “regret“ — the roots of which are the prefix “re-” and a Germanic word for weeping — means sorrow for what has been done or not been done.

And sorrow is the antithesis of happiness.

So I have a question for you:

What Regrets Do You Have
as an Endurance Runner or Walker?

I started thinking about this recently after reading an article by Bronnie Ware, an Australian singer/songwriter who worked for many years in palliative care.

Her “Regrets of the Dying” article enumerates five common regrets that she observed among people close to the ends of their lives.

I believe that these five common regrets can teach us a lot about how to be happier as endurance runners and walkers.

So let me quote each regret from her article and tell you some lessons that I get.

I then will ask you what YOU take from these regrets and how they can help you to be happier with your endurance running or walking.

Five Common Regrets,
and What We May Learn from Them

1. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

The lessons that I get from this include:

• If I have a hunch to sign up for a race, then I should do it.
• If my friends think I’m weird by completing marathons, half marathons, or other endurance races, then I should not try to change their minds but I should also keep doing what I am doing.
• If my body tells me not to work out today, then I should ignore my training schedule for the day.

2. “I wish I didn’t work so hard.”

The lessons that I get from this include:

• If I sacrifice all participation in a sport that I love for the sake of my job, then it is a mistake.
• If training “hard” means ignoring the friendships of fellow runners or walkers, then it is a mistake.
• If I become so obsessed with my training and racing that I ignore the needs of my family or even my own body, then it is a mistake. 

3. “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”

The lessons that I get from this include:

• I should not let others talk me into a race that does not feel right for me.
• I should be open with my coaches and training partners about my training.
• I should not sugar-coat my reaction when I am disappointed with a race or training session, but I also should not hide my excitement when I am especially pleased with my performance or some other aspect of the race or session.

4. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”

The lessons that I get from this include:

• If I have a choice between training with a friend and training without a friend, then I should choose the former.
• Training and racing with friends will teach me more about relationships and love (not to mention about training and racing) than will training and racing on my own.
• Endurance training and racing is as much about others as it is about me.

5. “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

The lessons that I get from this include:

• Being unhappy today leads to regret tomorrow, which equals unhappiness tomorrow.
• I have a duty to my future happiness to be happy NOW with my endurance training and racing.
• Being happy now is as simple as LETTING myself be happy now.

Share Your Wisdom

So now I invite you to join the conversation by sharing your wisdom about regrets and happiness.

• Do any of these five regrets resonate with you?
• What regrets have you had about your endurance running or walking?
• How did you “catch” yourself regretting something?
• What did you say or do to eliminate a regret?
• How has your happiness level changed as you have let go of regrets?

Post a comment below. I would love to get your perspective!