Happiness and Missing Tiles
Happiness and missing tiles might not seem to have anything to do with one another, but bear with me.
Dennis Prager described “The Missing-Tile Syndrome” in his book Happiness Is a Serious Problem.
The syndrome refers to anyone who will look at a ceiling and focus on a missing tile instead of on how the rest of the ceiling is beautifully intact.
He says that people who suffer from this syndrome tend to be unhappy. They focus on what is wrong with their lives instead of on what is right with their lives.
[tweet “Our happiness depends on whether we see ‘missing tiles’ while training or racing.”]
If we focus on what is RIGHT with our training and racing instead of on what is WRONG with it, then we can be happier runners and walkers.
For many of us, this is easier said than done, but there is a technique from the world of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) that you can use to re-focus your attention on what is RIGHT with your training and racing.
The six-step “reframe” technique is described here, but I have a simpler approach to it:
[tweet “Ask yourself how you could see a training or racing ‘missing tile’ in a POSITIVE way.”]
Let me illustrate this with several running/walking “missing tiles” and a possible “reframe” of each.
Missing Tile #1: Why do I have to park so far from where my training group meets?
Reframe: I love to park far from where my training group meets because it lets me warm up with a few minutes of running or walking.
Missing Tile #2: Why do I always end up at the back of the pack?
Reframe: I am grateful for how seeing people ahead of me motivates me to work on my speed.
Missing Tile #3: Why are there so many tripping hazards on our training route?
Reframe: I appreciate that I can afford a bright light to let me see these tripping hazards during our early-morning runs, so that I can call them out to my fellow runners.
Missing Tile #4: I wish that this race were not so crowded.
Reframe: I am glad that the popularity of this race means that it raises a lot of money for charity.
Missing Tile #5: Why are those police officers standing where I am trying to run the tangent of that corner?
Reframe: I am grateful for the many police officers who are looking out for my safety and security during this race.
Victimhood vs. Gratitude
A missing tile is an expression of victimhood. A reframe is an expression of gratitude. Check out my book Gratitude Power for Runners and Walkers for LOTS of examples of reframes.
What Missing Tiles Often Come to YOUR Mind?
Missing-tile self-talk can be corrosive to our happiness. Noticing it is the first step toward avoiding it. What missing-tile self-talk often comes to YOUR mind? Please share it with a comment here, so that the rest of us might notice it in our own lives, too. And, please share how you have reframed your missing tiles, so that we can be inspired by your statements of gratitude! Thank you.
